Who Are You Doing Life For?

I just have a few thoughts today. It has been quite a while since posting. Let's see...the last time I posted here was in 2012. Oh Goodness how life has changed since then.

Let's bring y'all up to speed.

-I graduated from Simpson University in 2014

-Applied for a business license and started my wedding flower business, Velours Floral Designs http://www.veloursdesigns.com

- February of 2015 my Grandpa on my dad's side passed away. I have never experienced anything that painful before then.

- Jonathan proposed in April of 2015 and we were married on October 3rd

- 2016 I began work for Social X Business and NorCal Weddings doing social media marketing and personal assistant work. 

Honestly most of 2016 was a blur. I was learning to be married and learning to be single at the same time. (Let me explain) Jonathan is a firefighter in Southern CA and we decided not to move, but that he would commute. I having never lived alone before have had to learn so much. 

I do not suggest a long distance marriage plan. We of course are working through it, but is not for the faint of heart, the fickle, or the insecure. 

This brings me to one of my thoughts. Who are you living for? Are you living to please someone? I caught myself today. My husband left for the airport and left as I am preparing for some friends to stay over. "Why am I doing all this?" I asked myself. It felt pointless after my husband left. I love my friends, so why was I feeling this way? Have I been living for my husband? 

What if I start living for me? "NO!" Bad idea. If I start living for myself I would never be motivated. 

I stopped In that moment and asked God, "when did I stop?" "When did I let you go?" 

This isn't the first time I've stopped in my tracks and realized I had slipped from my routine of Christ as my center. The result of no Christ is misery and disappointment. 

without Christ I would not have had the strength to get through college, I would not have been able to process or heal through my grandpa's death. I would not have been brave enough to start my own business. I would not have heard God's voice giving the OK to be someone's personal assistant. And I would not have been able to get through a year of marriage in a long distant relationship. Christ is the one I return to when misery and hardships come. And he is always faithful to pull me through to the other side!

What are your thoughts? Who have you been living for?